Family Relationships
How could you
describe the word "family"? First of all "family" means a close
unit of parents and their children living together. But we
shouldn't forget that it is a most complex system of
relationships. Family relationships are rarely as easy as we
would like, and very often we have to work hard at keeping them
peaceful.
When do people
usually start a family? This question doesn't have a definite
answer. In the 18th, 19th and at the beginning of the 20th
century people used to get married at the age of 18 or even 16.
If a girl about 23 or more wasn't married, she was said to be an
old maid or a spinster. That might have turned out a real
tragedy for her family which usually brought up more than three
children, because in some cases a successful marriage was the
only chance to provide a good life for the daughter and to help
her family. Despite the fact that the girl was so young, she was
already able to keep the house, take care of her husband and
raise children. To feel the time, its culture and customs I
advise you to read a wonderful novel or see a breathtaking film
"Pride and Prejudice". Though the story takes place at the turn
of the 19th century, it retains fascination for modern readers,
revealing some problems which may be urgent in the 21st century.
But life's
changing as well as people's style of life. Nowadays we have got
much more freedom in questions concerning family. It is natural
to get married at the age of 20 up to 30; however, some people
prefer to make a career first and only after that start a family
when they are already in their forties. Moreover, there are many
cases when people prefer to live together without being married.
There are some reasons for this phenomenon. Firstly, it is
difficult to juggle a family life with studies at school or
university. But without good education it is practically
impossible to find a suitable well-paid steady job. It's a must
to get a higher education, but by this moment you are already
22—24 years old. After that you seek for a well-paid job to live
independently, which takes about 3—5 years. Now you see why
people in the 21st century do not hurry to get married.
There is also
another difference between old and modern families. Nowadays it
is very unusual to find three generations living under one roof
as they used to do in the past. Relatives, as a rule, live
separately and don't often meet one another. This fact sharply
hurts an older generation. Our parents and grandparents usually
suffer from lack of attention and respect from their children
and grandchildren, although they try not to show it. They really
don't need much, just a telephone call or a visit once a week
will make them happy.
There are two
basic types of families. A nuclear family — a typical family
consisting of parents and children. A single-parent family
consists of one parent and children. Nowadays there are very few
people who have never divorced. Today the highest divorce rate
in the world has the Maldive Republic. The United States of
America take the third place. Russia is at the ninth place. What
are the reasons of great numbers of divorce? Let us name some of
the most common and serious ones.
•
Occurrence of adultery once or throughout the marriage.
The unfaithful attitude towards a spouse destroys the
relationship and leads to a final separation.
•
Communication breakdown. After some time of living under
one roof spouses find out that they are absolutely incompatible.
Constant clashes, brawls and squabbles cause serious problems.
The differences grow as a snowball and can't be already settled
by kisses or hugs.
• Physical,
psychological or emotional abuses. When a person taunts,
humiliates, hits the children or his spouse, it can't but end
with a divorce.
• Financial
problems. It sounds lamentably, but sometimes love alone
can't guarantee well-being, whereas money can solve many of your
problems. So when a couple lacks it, their relations become more
and more complicated, their priorities change and the
relationships end.
• Boredom.
A lot of couples get bored of each other after 7 or more years
of marriage. Boredom may become the reason of constant quarrels
and adultery which inevitably leads to a divorce.
However, it goes
without saying, in most cases married couples succeed in solving
all the problems and keep living in peace and happiness.